My husband and I have been together a lot lately. And I mean A LOT (join the club, right?). I usually work from home so for me 2020 was not all that unusual (in terms of working), but it meant that my spouse, who usually leaves the house every day for work was working from home too. We’re lucky - we had a spare room that we could set up with a door that closes, so when he’s on a conference call he doesn’t blast me out.
Unfortunately, what all of this closeness has done is to take a bit of the ‘special’ out of every day. We had a routine when my husband came home from a hard day at work; he would open the garage door and the dog would lose his mind. I would pick the dog up and we would group hug when he came in the door.
Having that separateness through the day made his homecoming a special part of the evening. So how do we bring some of the ‘special’ back when we’re living about 800 feet apart, 24/7? Here are a few ideas to help you celebrate your spouse in these unusual times.
Try something different
This one is not brain surgery. The same thing every day will become stale and unexciting (hmmm, unless it’s Jason Momoa, lol). Try something new together like a challenge of some sort, or 30 days of something (30 days of something you don’t know about me, 30 days of sexy photos, 30 days of random acts of kindness). If one of you usually does the cooking, switch it up and let your partner give it a try.
Give them a massage
Nothing feels better than getting a good rub, especially when it’s from someone you trust completely. It can be hard for some of us to relax when getting massaged by a stranger, which is why couples massage is such a great thing. A massage can be a great way to get the engines revving and bring some of the spark back into a relationship. If you’re unsure about how to give a proper massage, there are some great explainer videos out there with helpful demonstrations.
Uncover something new
When we first meet a new person that we want to get to know better, we tend to have deep, meaningful conversations about everything we want, need, and desire. However, when we ‘settle down’ and become familiar with our significant other, we perceive those conversations as not necessary when actually the opposite is true. Sitting down with your partner or spouse regularly and asking questions like “What have you felt excited about lately?” -or- “What is one of your best memories from our dating days?” You may find out something about your spouse that you didn’t already know!
Put the phone down and get outside
Exercising is a great way to relieve stress and outside is free. Exercising together is also a way to strengthen your connection. You can try an exercise challenge if you and your spouse are competitive, but also just getting outside for a walk or doing some yard work will do a lot of good. This is a perfect way to celebrate each other as exercise will help you both to stay healthy and active throughout your life together.
No, really put the phone down
If there’s one thing that drives me nuts, it’s when I’m trying to tell my spouse something and as I’m speaking, he picks up his phone. OK, so obviously what I was saying was completely unimportant to you, or so that gesture has shown me. Give the gift of undivided attention! When your significant other has something to share, put down the devices, and pay attention. Take a bit of time and effort to listen to and understand what your partner is sharing. And don’t forget that when your spouse is talking, they are not usually asking for a solution to a problem or a fix, they really just want you to listen.
In these stressful times, it’s important to let our spouses know how much they are appreciated and loved. Celebrate their good news, say please, and thank you, give hugs, and say I love you often.
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